The Phone Call That Shattered Her World

[00:00:00] Welcome to The Gut Punch, the podcast that explores life-changing moments. Hosted by Kathryn Lancioni, a seasoned educator with personal insights into resilience. Kathryn shares how life can change in an instant, shaping our path forward. Each episode features inspiring guests who face their own gut punch moments. Guests share their journeys through loss, upheaval, and triumph. What to expect, honest conversations, lessons in resilience, inspiration for growth.

[00:00:30] Join Kathryn as she highlights courage and perseverance in every story. Gut Punch is a reminder that there is always a path forward. Be part of the conversation. Register now to join Kathryn for today's journey. Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the The Gut Punch podcast. My name is Kathryn Lancioni, and I'm your host for today's episode. Today, we'll be joined by Brigitte Saint-Jean, who is a wonderful human being who I met at a recent women's conference that I attended in Paris.

[00:00:59] Bridget, welcome to the show. Thank you so much, Kathryn. And I'm just, I'm so thrilled that we met, and I loved your presentation that you did in Paris, and I know all of us, all of us in the audience loved it and learned so much from it. And I was delighted when you, when I was like, will you be on my podcast? And you were like, yeah, so I'm delighted that you're here today and joining us. So before we get into the really the meat of a conversation, I'd love it if you would share a little bit about yourself with it. Yes. Well, first of all, thank you for having me on your podcast.

[00:01:28] I love this Gut Punch podcast. I've been listening to it for a while now since I've met you, and I really, really love it. And thank you for doing that. My pleasure. And so, yeah, so my name is Bridget St. Jean, and I am a life transformation coach, so certified life coach. And I call myself life transformation coach because I am passionate about transformation. And when I talk about that, I really mean that I am passionate about this energetic shift

[00:01:58] that we are going through on planet Earth, on this planet. And this, you know, the change in frequency and all of, you know, all the invisible first. And that's the transformation I am passionate about. It's really shifting from this old way of being in the world, which was really a belief I'm a physical being and I'm doing in the world and everything's outside of me and I have to deal with everything outside of me. And now we're shifting into this new frequency that no longer supports all of these structures.

[00:02:28] Based on these beliefs and all this energy and the frequency. And now we're entering this new era of a new frequency that supports living from the invisible first. Like we are all energy first. We are conscious energy creating in the physical world. We are creating this reality that we are evolving in and experimenting in. And this is a transformation I'm passionate about. I love that.

[00:02:55] And I think, you know, so many of us unconsciously transform, right? You know, you get to a certain place in life and you react to something or respond to something in a different way than you did the last time you encountered. And you're like, wait, like, what's the difference? And, you know, you've grown as a person and you've, again, unconsciously been transformed. So I just, I love the whole topic.

[00:03:18] And I know for myself, I sometimes, you know, will find myself in a position when I'm teaching a class or getting a workshop or a speech and somebody will ask me a question. And I have an answer. And it's like, it's not like I prep for it because it's just kind of, you know, randomly asked. But it's through that transformation that we grow intellectually, emotionally as well, but intellectually. And sometimes we have like this accumulated knowledge, you know, that helps us respond.

[00:03:42] And that accumulated knowledge, it's also sort of shifts in emotional intelligence as part of this transformation. So I'm so excited about this. I would love it if you would share with us a little bit about yourself and beyond, beyond, you know, your trench, your coaching work and talk a bit about some personal stuff and how you got into transformation business. I'm not going to say like, what was your gut punch, but kind of what led you to the work that you're doing today?

[00:04:11] Was it a specific incident, incidents? Was it observations that you had? If you could take us through that, that'd be great. Well, actually, that could be a really long story because I think that when I was very young, I knew about energy and I just had this, I'll say sixth sense that I could feel things happening around me. And sometimes even I could hear people's thoughts, but I didn't, for me, it wasn't their thoughts.

[00:04:38] It was what their soul was speaking. So, for example, it was like somebody's saying something, but I'm hearing I really have this big wound around my dad. Right. And stuff like that. And also, and as a young adult, still, you know, I had some special powers. That's what I told myself, right? Because I knew that I could really do something far away from myself and change the circumstances of somebody outside of me.

[00:05:05] And that was something that, you know, I just, for me, that was sort of normal, but I didn't really talk about it too much because, you know, you're the weirdo. And I was already like the peace and love at school and stuff like that. So I was really already the weirdo. And I embraced that weirdness. I really love myself like that. So that's the long story. But, you know, as I got older after school, because school was my go-to place, I loved going to university.

[00:05:34] I have four university degrees. You know, I've been, you know, love the intellect side of myself. And that was my safe space because of my family dynamics and trauma in the childhood and everything. And so that was my go-to. But so as I grew up and after school, after my master's degrees, okay, now I have to work. I have to, you know, get out into the world. And so that's when my life really changed in that energy space.

[00:06:03] And that's where I just realized all of this trauma that I really had to work on because I didn't have good relationships with other people. I was scared of everybody and people were disrespecting me all the time. I was always like in a fighting energy, like proving myself. Anyways, all of that. But I really wanted to talk about because, you know, the title of your podcast is The Gut Punch.

[00:06:26] And it got me thinking of there's so many episodes in my life where I could talk about depressions, you know, actually exhaustion phases and all of that, the burnouts. But I want to talk about one specific moment where physically I really felt like I had just been maybe not kicked, but punched in the stomach. Oh, wow. Okay. But it wasn't a punch, like a physical somebody punching me in the stomach, but I really felt like that.

[00:06:52] And, you know, there's all a context around this specific moment where, you know, I had separated from the father of my child and we were, you know, still intimate. He had moved out of my house and stuff like that, but, you know, it didn't go well because we had like a domestic violence dynamic. So no hitting or anything, but I just was totally lost and scared. Anyway, so at that time, I have one of my friends calling me and she's like, she's in a panic. And I'm like, what is it? What is it? Breathe for a second. She said, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

[00:07:22] I'm so sorry. And so she, I'm telling her, you know, what is going on? And I'm there to support her. I'm like super open. And my heart's open and I'm hearing, I'm so sorry. You know, we were together. So she was sleeping with the father of my child, you know, before we separated. And she just called me in that call. Wow. It was like, I just, it was in total disbelief. And that moment, I really, like, this is hard to explain, but it's really felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.

[00:07:52] I couldn't breathe. I went into panic mode, adrenaline, survival mode, like for three days. I don't really remember those three days, actually. Yeah. Yeah. But still, that was a moment for me that I just, because when that happened, you know, the three days after I could finally get back into thinking about life and doing stuff and not being like a robot. Okay. I've got to feed my son and go to work and blah, blah, blah, blah. But now I can actually breathe.

[00:08:22] I realized that that was a culminating point where I had to face like this ultimate wound of my relationship with men. Right. And so that started that. But that moment was so, so difficult because like I had this trust with my friend and trust with him and like all of that just crumbled. If you don't want to be asking, what do you think caused her to call you? Guilt. Yeah. Yes. I was going to say, never assume.

[00:08:52] Before that, she had given me like a really nice designer purse. Like it's like a $2,000 gift. I don't know where she got it, but she gave me this. She was giving me gifts and I was like, you know, okay, thank you. But you don't need to do that. Yeah. And now I understood. I was going to say, so she calls you, she tells you this. Do you, I mean, it's like the, um, the emotional gut punch, you know what I mean?

[00:09:21] And gut punch is not physical, can be emotional. Was it like, just take us through that moment. If you remember back to it, what was that like? You know, you say it's an emotional, um, gut punch. It is, but I think that the emotional part had to be, it was delayed because it was, I felt it physically in my body. Honestly, like I couldn't breathe anymore. I just, it's really hard to explain.

[00:09:44] It's like, I just stopped breathing, stopped living for a while because I, I, I wasn't told this belief. How could, how could, no, this is not possible. You know, like when you go into a grieving process through a grieving process, not into, but you start by denial. Right. And so I was like, how can she, how can I trust her? And like stuff like that. I was starting to think, but I couldn't process anything.

[00:10:12] But that moment, I, it was physical. Like I felt my stomach, you know, when you breathe and you, you send up that, this breath up your spine into your brain. So all contracted. And I felt like I was going to be sick, like really like vomit or something. I felt like this. I think I remember now that I went upstairs and I tried to vomit because I had to get this out. It was so painful that it's like my body actually shut down. Yes.

[00:10:40] I'm trying to, I'm just trying to think through my own life. Like, yeah. And I, I have had moments like that and it, it's like, to me, the only like visual that I can come up with it. It's like, you know, when you pop a balloon either deliberately or inadvertently and all of the air is sucked out. Like when that's happened to me, I just feel like that deflated balloon. And it's absolutely horrible. And, you know, I've been like younger in my life.

[00:11:07] I was cheated on, you know, but it was different this time. It wasn't just like, I'm learning that my boyfriend went with somebody else and I'm like, you know what? Let's end this. I'm going, you know, I'm going to do my life or whatever. I was, it was completely, it was so profound. I think it really was linked to a soul wound. And I'm saying this, and this is why this specific moment, that specific happening was total gut punch.

[00:11:33] Because before, and I say this, and it's so sad to say that most women have gone through this at one point or another with, you know, younger or older, whatever. But, you know, have been with a man that wasn't faithful. And, you know, after 20 years of marriage, it's different from when, you know, you're just starting dating and then you understand, okay, this is not the right person for me. But I have all of my life, right? It's different. There's different, you know, it can be lived differently.

[00:12:00] But this moment was, it's like it was so profound linked to a soul wound that I had to come to that moment to face. Yes. To be able to recognize that I am playing a role, and I'm not saying this for other women, I'm talking about my own moment. Your experience, yes. My experience, I have a responsibility, I have a part in this thing that's happening.

[00:12:29] You know, I wasn't, at that time, I wasn't too fluent in energy work, let's say it like that. But I knew that there was something there for me, and I think that was the most painful thing, actually. That somebody did that to me, it's a trust thing. I trusted my friend. Like, this is my friend. How can she be my friend? But even deeper than that, I think that's where it really hit the most, is that I had something to heal here. And it had everything to do with me, what I was living.

[00:12:57] How can I still be with a man that doesn't respect me? I know he doesn't respect me. I've spent all these years with that person. I know this. So why am I, you know, repeating a cycle and all of those things? So I think that was the reason, the profound reason, the deeper knowing, the deeper reason that this energy just exploded or imploded because I really felt it in my stomach areas. I'm like, I can't breathe. And I'm like, like a panic attack. You can't breathe.

[00:13:27] You can't even cry. You can't. It's like dying. I don't know. I've never died. But you know what I mean, right? I do. You don't even know it's my life or death sort of feeling. Anyways, so I think that was the, and after the three days of the panic mode at the body, not being able to sustain the survival mode and the fight or flight as intensely as when that happened. Then when I came down, I was extremely tired.

[00:13:56] I just, I couldn't go to work. I couldn't even. Emotionally drained. Yes. And then I said, my goodness, this has happened. And then all the emotional part came in. And that was another part of that story. But the gun punch really happened in the physical body. It was so deep that I couldn't even process that. So a question. Did you ever forgive your friend? Oh, yes, I did. Well, you know, we're not really friends. How long did that? Okay.

[00:14:24] But how long did, back then when this occurred, how long did that take? Oh, my goodness. I think it took about two and a half or three years. Okay. And, you know, because I understood that that person was not my friend. Yes. But I've seen that person. I still talk to her sometimes. Right. But I know that we cannot, you know, I cannot really trust that person. And she's, you know, talked to me so much about, I'm sorry why I did that.

[00:14:54] I've been through therapy, all of those things. And it's okay. Good. I'm happy for you. Right. At the same time, I don't think our energy matches anymore. You know, I've grown into another person and she's grown into another person. And we're completely on different, you know, we're parallel lines there. But I did forgive. And, you know, it didn't really matter for me to be mad at her. Right. Right. It was unproductive. It didn't. And, you know, I was staying in that loop.

[00:15:23] I wasn't healing and helping myself. And I knew that. I had to put her out of my life. How did it feel after you forgave her? How did it feel? I think that it was kind of a relief. Yeah. Okay. So the way that it happened is that I put her out of my life. I closed the door, you know, concentrate on healing myself. Yes. All of this. And then at some point when she reached out again and again, I said, okay, you know what, let's have coffee and stuff like that.

[00:15:53] And then, you know, I said, this is done. Like, it's not going to change. And I'm at somewhere else in my life. And so I think that was the relief part of it. Okay. And at the same time, I also understood that this would never happen. This will never, like, this would never be a close relationship. So I didn't really, I don't know how to explain it, but I, like, I didn't mind. Is that weird? No, no, no. I totally get that because, you know, I've, you know, I'm talking to so many people through

[00:16:22] the show and just through other avenues. I've heard that for many people, the key to moving on after a gut punch or some sort of, you know, crazy life experience with somebody else is forgiveness. Like once you forgive, if you were the person that was the victim or the subject, it makes it easier. It doesn't make, it doesn't erase what happened. But emotionally, as you said, like there was, it was unproductive being that angry. It was unproductive holding that rage. And when you forgive people for the person who was the victim, it can help.

[00:16:51] It doesn't change what happened, but it can help you move on. That's why I was curious. Well, then I can talk to you more about how long and the journey of forgiving him, because that was the harder part. Her, she was just a person that coming in and out of my life, you know, but him, he was the father of my child. I had to, you know, I still have to deal with that person for the rest of, you know, my life actually, you know. My son, like we have a child together.

[00:17:19] And so that was really hard. And I was so mad and mad, sad, angry, mad, angry. It's the same thing. But I mean, for me, it's not the same thing because, you know, in French, anyway, it was a degree different anyway. So all of these emotions and I wanted to get back at him. I was get back at him. I want meant for me. I want him to feel bad. I want him to pay. I want him to feel.

[00:17:47] And this was really hard dealing with our child as well, because now I understood that my child knew about that, didn't understand it because he was too young. You know, all of these things, that was hard. That was really, really hard. And I don't even know how many years it took, but it took a long time. And even still today, you know, I saw that friend, that woman at New Year's Eve last, last New Year's Eve. Okay. Months ago.

[00:18:16] And she was saying again, I'm so sorry for that. And I'm like, stop talking about this. Stop. Yes. Stop. Stop. It's enough. I don't want to hear about it again. Correct. Right? That's your thing. You want to, you need to do some work on yourself or whatever. That's your thing. But then the day after I was thinking to myself, he's such an idiot or, you know, all of this language. And I'm back there. I am back with this pattern of angry.

[00:18:46] And I'm like, how could, you know, he's asking for help for something or I need to talk to him because I need something, you know, in all regards to our child. But you know what I mean? We have to work together. And I'm like, oh, I want him to have an accident or something. You know, not really, because I know that energy. But that was the hardest part. Forgiving him.

[00:19:11] And I actually once went to drop off my son and I opened the door and I said, you know what? I forgive you. And he was like, for what type of thing? You know, he didn't know what I was, but it didn't matter to me. I know he never understands what I talk about, you know. So I was like, you know, I forgive you and I'm not scared of you anymore. Yeah. And because I had built myself back up after that, you know, the dynamic of dominated, domineity and all of that.

[00:19:39] And that's one of the reasons that I understood that that happened, because I was part of participating in this dynamic of being dominated and letting this happen. And so it's like all of these processes are so intertwined. And it's difficult for me to answer only one thing about that, because forgiveness meant a lot more than just forgiving this. It meant letting go. Yeah.

[00:20:07] It meant stop repeating, living in the anger, stopping that. And actually relearning my value, relearning that I love myself. I'm worthy of something. I'm worthy of living a life that I want. I'm worthy of being a good mom. I'm worthy of, you know, much more than this friend or this guy. So I want to build on that. So many people, so many people, women, men don't feel like they're worthy.

[00:20:35] They don't give themselves permission to be okay. They don't give themselves permission to move forward. And in my opinion, so much of that is key to transformation. So take us through, if you could, some of the work that you do to help your clients kind of untangle the complexities of all this stuff. Because you're right. It's not like, oh, I forgive you, move on. Like for us to be able to forgive someone after whatever the gut punch is or whatever the life experience is, it's hard. It's not like you can just slip on that switch.

[00:21:05] It is hard and it takes time. Again, I know from personal experience that like there's no one with a stop clock that's standing next to you. You know, you got to set your own, you got to set your own deadlines if there are deadlines or you have to decide when you're okay. So take us through how you work with clients on that stuff. I'm super curious. You were talking about the light switch. I love that analogy or metaphor.

[00:21:30] Is that, you know, you walk into your house and you change rooms and you turn on the lights in different rooms and then you turn it on. Then you turn it on and then you turn it off all the time. It's an ongoing thing. Yep. And forgiveness for me, it's the same. It's, it is, it's the same in the sense that you enter in this process because it's a process. It's not a one and done thing. Right. Like I'm making toast, the toaster, you know, it's the toast is ready. That's not how, like you're going to make toast every day.

[00:21:59] Or, you know what I mean. In my case, coffee every morning. Yes. Exactly. I don't drink coffee. Maybe that's why I didn't think about that. But, you know, it's, it's an ongoing thing. And there are levels and degrees in which you advance in this process. So, you know, the expression that you take two steps forward and one step backward. And that happens. And that is okay. That is okay. That is okay.

[00:22:25] And, and, you know, the first, first thing I teach actually is, is about noticing. Right. Because at the beginning when we were talking about energy and, and that we're unconsciously, we do transform. But the ultimately where the frequent, the new frequency of earth is bringing us is into this conscious expansion. Right. And so noticing that I'm going through the process again. For example, when I saw that, that woman at New Year's Eve, I got back into that process of being angry.

[00:22:55] And then wait a second. No, that's not where I want to live. I, oh, that's the second thing that, that you said, making a decision. That's the second thing. You have to decide, but over and over again. Right. You have to decide to let go over and over again, because forgiveness is a process. It's, it's like a cyclical, cyclique, cyclical, right? That's a word. So it's a cyclical thing. I know it sounds weird because I say it most of the time in English, um, in French, sorry, right?

[00:23:23] So you go through, so you go into this process of forgiveness. You forgive, you have, you, and you, and your conscious, you know, your, your knowledge and consciousness about the event changes. Because at the beginning, for example, you're set on the other person. That person did this. Now you're examining the situation. You're observing something outside of you.

[00:23:47] And further along that you go in the forgiveness process, because when it, uh, boucle la boucle, when, when you close the circuit, you always come back to forgiving yourself. Yes. And that is the ultimate. And when, so in this forgiveness process, there are different cycles. Then you're looking at this, it means this. And then further on, there's a trigger, something happens. Then you're back into this cycle, the emotion, the thoughts, and then the thoughts are running so much.

[00:24:16] And then you see it differently. I didn't even notice this. I could get mad at this now. I think that, you know, I think most people, at least I know I do. I, you know, I have one or two friends who, who were no longer friends for a variety of reasons. I, I ended, after my whole health thing, I ended a couple of friendships. People that didn't show up, we'll put it like that. And it's hard because there's some days where I'll be somewhere and some things, it's something will happen or I'll be somewhere that I used to go with that person. And it reminds me of them.

[00:24:43] And what I've, what I've realized, or for me at least, what's happened is the further I get away from when, when I ended those friendships, right? And made the conscious decision to end them. The more joy I find in the memories of the friendship. It's not enough joy to reach out again because I, it, I, it's balanced by the frustration that the friendship gave me. Um, and how some, you know, friendships relationships can be toxic and these two in particular were quite

[00:25:10] toxic. There, there is joy, um, that comes in the memories of the, you know, the stuff that we used to do together, the conversations that we used to have. And I find that very comforting. I find, you know, we were talking about transformation, this idea of transformation. I find for me, that's that switch, right? That's that emotional transformation of learning that it's okay to change. It's okay to evolve as a human. You know, it's been said, you know, that people come in and out of your life for a reason.

[00:25:40] And, and, and I do believe that I, I do believe that people have certain roles and that they're around for a certain amount of time. And then, you know, either the friendship ends or you just move away from each other, who knows what it is. But anyway, I find comfort in the memories. That's really important. And I know for me, um, personally, uh, that's what I try to focus on. I try to forget about why the friendship ended, you know, and some people, you know, it can be so long ago. You're like, why did we stop being friends? You know, I had a situation, uh, yes, this is years ago, years ago.

[00:26:09] Someone from, someone from back in the day, I won't say where, because if they listened to this episode of the show, they might figure it out, but somebody from, from, from the past. And there had been some like weird situation that happened between the two of us. And we just stopped talking to each other. And fast forward, like, I don't know, five, seven years later, and we're both in New York City and we're both going to the same event. I'm going down one escalator and this person is coming up. And I looked over and I was like, Hey, and that person, after they got off their escalator,

[00:26:38] went back down. And we just started talking and it had been enough time that we both completely forgot why we stopped, you know, hanging out together. And I will tell you decades later, we're still friends. And decades later, that person is a really, just a really important part of my life. And the weird thing is we've actually never talked about kind of that five-year period where our friendship was on a hiatus, but that's okay because we're, we've both grown emotionally.

[00:27:06] We both evolved as humans and we both appreciate who that person is and the role that they play in our lives. And I think that that, you know, that's so important. And I, I definitely think, you know, this word permission keeps coming into my mind, but I, I, I realized that I missed that person when they weren't around. And so for me, it was, you know, complete serendipity that we wound up at the same event and that we were both on the escalator. But again, I do, I believe things like that are meant to happen.

[00:27:33] Um, and I feel like sometimes it's just recognizing those moments and, and they could be moments of, oh my God, I can't have this person around right now. Or, oh my God, I miss this person. I'm going to call them. I'm going to do whatever. But I, I know for me, like I said, there are some people that, you know, that, that when I was going through my, my horrible health thing didn't show up. And, and at first that wasn't enough, believe it or not to end the friendship. There was one person in particular was not, but then there was a conversation that happened

[00:27:59] afterwards and something was said that was from my, at that moment in time, it's completely out of line. And I was like, okay, that was it. And I think that where I'm going with this, I think is that I think it's important for all of us to realize that we do transform, but I think it's also important for all of us to realize who we are and what we need. Sometimes the gut punch can leave you that, you know, being that deflated balloon on the

[00:28:26] ground and you don't know how to get back up. You know, that balloon analogy for me was, you know, when I woke up in that hospital, my God, I was there. Like I was, I wasn't just a deflated balloon. I'd been run over by a couple of cars and stepped on and everything else. It took a couple of days for me to like, want to, you know, want to get back. It took me a couple of days to, I don't know, process.

[00:28:54] I mean, I couldn't really, I'm still on so many drugs, but process what I'd been through. And it took more than a couple of days for me to want to develop that desire to re-engage. And I think that happens to so many people. So when you, when you work with clients on the transformation concept, how do you help them reach that, get to that point where they're ready to get back in the ring or they're ready to get up and be that balloon, you know, that's re-inflated? How do you do that?

[00:29:21] Well, actually the, you know, most of my clients, when they come to me, they are ready for something. They want a change, you know, because that's what we're due. We actually do the transformation. We walk into it and we get out at the other end. And, you know, so if you're not ready for transformation, you won't be able to apply and walk this, this path. So sometimes some people are not ready for this transformation yet. They have to do a little bit of prep work, right? I love that.

[00:29:50] So how do you help them take that first step? They come to you, they, they, they're like, okay, I know, I know I have to like, I've been sad long enough. I need to move forward. How do you help them do that? What's that process like? Yes. Well, actually, you know, it's all in the awareness. That's where I start. You know, that's the first, first concept, as I said before, that I teach is noticing. And your awareness of looking at yourself.

[00:30:15] And, you know, this transformation at the base is really understanding that you are energy first. And so when you, when you learn or not, we all notice, but when we're consciously learning how to notice, what really is noticing? What am I, what is the observer, right? How am I being the observer? How does my observer work? Stuff like that, right? So this is really the first, the first step into the transformation.

[00:30:42] Understand, because this brings you to understand that you are energy first. And so when somebody is caught up in, in my example, I was so caught up in, in, in her and him and what's happening outside and what's happening. But I, for my own healing, and I think that everybody has somewhat similar process, you have to go, you have to do this, these steps.

[00:31:05] And when you're done being mad at everybody else and stuff like that, you revert to yourself and say, okay, either you ask your question, so what do I want? Or, you know, this is not what I want. So what the heck? And so this brings you back to yourself. And when you, and that's the, that's the, that's the real shift. That's the first part of the shift.

[00:31:27] Because living as energy first, living from the inner authority is all, you know, you have to build the tools and the, the strategies. I don't really like that word, but you have to build the way of being. Yes. Yeah. You know, it's a way of being in the world that we are, because we are at the beginning of this shift, we're the pioneers. We are the first human beings. And we have part of the old programming and part of the new programming. Right.

[00:31:55] And so if you look way into the future, a lot of people say about AI and stuff like that and humans disappear, whatever. Okay. But what I mean is in the future, this human consciousness will be able, will no longer live with, with what, with the baggage that we're living in with right now. Like everything outside is, is drama. You know, it's epic right now. You know, all of these things are being deconstructed. And so, okay, I'm going in a little bit too far.

[00:32:24] But what I mean, this is a transformation and it really starts with the awareness. Yes. And when we're living something extreme and we call that, you know, the gut punch or the moment where I awaken. And that's, you know, used for every thought. And, okay, that's a French expression, you know, it's used in so many ways. Awaken this and awaken that. It's really a movement back into self from the outside back to the inside where your power really resides.

[00:32:52] And even the definition of power is different when it's here than when it's outside. Power is not something that we have over something. No. You know, it's expression. Yes. Yes. And then still, you know, even again, okay, I just wanted to come back with something that you said earlier on. You said, you know, I was, I ran into this old friend and we reconnected. And I was like, I don't really want to think about how it was before.

[00:33:21] And I agree with that because that's how the brain and the unconscious mind, the programs, that's how they run. That's how they work. So if you go back to the memories all the time, and I'm not saying don't, don't think about that, but if you're going back to the bad times all the time, what, guess what? Then you're signaling your brain and your body to relive that constantly so you can get sick again. All of that. So when you were thinking, you were talking about thinking about the good things.

[00:33:50] And then, and then when you met that friend again, there was something, oh, you know, there was something you said. And I wanted to say that, oh yeah, I'm asking myself, why did I reconnect with that person? Why didn't I reconnect with that woman? Why didn't I, or, you know, I don't remember this or that. But the thing is that it is the brain that needs to know. The small mind, the brain, it needs to have a definition. It needs to, you know, it needs to complete the picture.

[00:34:20] It needs information to do this, to process, to process, process, process, process. But the heart, the energy does not need that. We do not need a reason for everything. That is the brain that needs that. And so I think this is somewhat of the realization that I was having also when I got out of that gut punch, right? I don't need that. But I had to remind myself over and over and over again when I got back into thinking about, oh my God, it hurts. I want to do this to him.

[00:34:49] I want to do that to her. But no, I don't really want that. I want my life to be peaceful and great. I don't want to stay there. Well, revenge is visceral and forgiveness is long lasting, right? Yeah. And it's creative. It is. And I think it's showing forgiveness probably as part of transformation, right? Absolutely. Totally. It's letting go. And, you know, I find it so like the mourning process, right?

[00:35:16] This thing where you have all sorts of stages and then you accept and then it just flows back. It just flows again. Yeah. And I know, you know, I totally get what you're saying because, you know, the stages of grief, right? Stages of mourning, stages of grief. There's seven stages and it's easy to get stuck. And a lot of people do get stuck. And I find the same thing with forgiveness. I don't know if there are seven stages of forgiveness, but there are stages to forgiveness.

[00:35:44] And at the end of the day, I think we all navigate that differently. And, you know, I think where challenges come into play is people feel some bizarre deadline, right? And the reality is like you're on your own timeline. Like you set your own deadlines for all this stuff. And I think, you know, that is because that's being gracious to yourself.

[00:36:06] And part of forgiving other people, part of this personal transformation that we all want to go through is being gracious to ourselves, being kind to ourselves. And I would imagine when people come to you and they're like, I want to work with you. I want to move forward. That's something that you probably talk about is honoring yourself, honoring your own emotions. We do have in the, you know, in most of the programs that I teach and I coach, we have a specific module on forgiveness.

[00:36:34] We spend time on forgiveness because forgiveness is it's like Mary Morrissey and or Rob Proctor. Those are both big mentors of mine. And so they say, you know, forgiveness is removing a block of energy, like a block of energy in me to love's presence, right? Because everything is love. Everything is either an expression of love or a request for love, like an ask for love. I want more love so I'm being, like I'm doing a tantrum.

[00:37:03] I want more love so I'm going to after another person's husband. Yeah. Sort of thing, right? So I think that, you know, forgiveness is all part of it. Also, everything comes back to, and the transformation ultimately is going over and over and over again on the choice. That's right. I'm deciding that I'm letting go of anger right now and I'm choosing to have this positive thought. I'm choosing to love. I'm choosing an expression of love and that expression of love is I love myself.

[00:37:32] And finding, you know, and loving myself. If you really stop, close your eyes and try to feel what it is to love yourself, then when you open your eyes, you can't do anything else but to be loving to someone else. And this is the energy that just radiates. I mean, for me, that is a true transformation because we will have events that happen and we don't know how to manage.

[00:37:57] But, you know, when you learn all of these principles, then you always come back to, okay, so what am I going to do with this? Yes. Instead of when I was younger, I'm going to use, always use my example. I'm going to be angry. I'm going to react. I'm going to be angry. I'm going to be sad. Like those were my two, well, mostly sadness, you know, emotion in my life. But self-love is the ultimate, not tool, but learning. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:38:26] I think that we have and we can experience in one lifetime. I think returning to the self-love is the ultimate goal here. Yes. And it goes, you know, to get like clinical, it goes like to Maslow's hierarchy of needs and that concept of self-actualization, you know. Yeah. And I know when I, when I talked with people about that, you know, some people never get there, some people get there.

[00:38:51] And a lot of people bounce around, you know, in terms of where they are because sort of what we're getting at, like different situations in life evoke different emotions. And you never know what something is going to be like until you're in the moment. And I don't care if you've been in that same moment time and time again. Like I teach, I've been teaching for 16 years. Every, every week, every class is different. And that's part of the fun, right? It can also be part of the challenge. But for me, that's part of the fun.

[00:39:18] And I think that transforming, as we're talking about, is a, is a continual. It's an evolutionary process. And it's so important to, to embrace that. You know, it's a, it's that whole concept of the growth mindset, right? If we, if we are excited about growth, if we are excited about transformation, then we're going to not just get through it, but we're going to learn from it. And that's going to, I think, help us transform even more effectively.

[00:39:45] But if we're afraid of it, if we fight it, we're not going to be as successful as we'd like to be. You know, the spiral of becoming, you know, getting exciting about, excited about living something different. Yes. Right. I want, I don't want to be living this anymore. I want something else. I'm excited about, okay, what am I creating? What am I going to create? So I'm in this spiral of becoming all the time. And so, yeah, I love what you just said. You know, the growth mindset. Thank you. I mean, that's a must. Yeah. And I think it's, it's key.

[00:40:14] So Bridget, before we hop off the conversation or hop off our call here, for people to get a hold of you, what's the best way? Well, I have my website, www.upfrequencycoaching.com. So that's my website. Excuse me. And also, I think my social media, but the website, you can contact me directly, book a call. And I absolutely love to have discussions like this.

[00:40:37] And, you know, I've been through so many different things in my life that, you know, not a lot of things surprise me. But I can still be surprised. Love that. Surprised. I just, yeah. So my website would be the greatest. You can also look up Up Frequency Coaching and Facebook and LinkedIn. All of those are Bridget St. Jean, though. So B-R-I-G-I-T-T-E as in Brigitte in French. And yeah.

[00:41:06] So please connect. Thank you. And I have something really exciting. Please. Yes. That's coming up soon. Soon, I've created a noticing journal. Love that. And I just, I'm so excited about this thing. And I'm putting it on Amazon soon. Okay. I'm going to be launching. I don't know exactly when, but probably in around a month or so. And yeah, I would love if people would give me feedback on that so I can make it even better. Yeah.

[00:41:36] Noticing journal. So that, I'm so excited about that. I love that. I love that. I'm excited. I can't wait to, I can't wait to see it. Well, I'll send you one. Or maybe when we see each other in October, I can give you one and use it and let me know how you like it or how I can make it better. Sounds like a plan. Well, I'm sure it's going to be fabulous. I look forward to seeing it and look forward to using it. Thank you. So Brigitte. Brigitte Saint-Jean. Thank you. It's the way we say it in French, ladies and gentlemen. But thank you.

[00:42:02] I loved, loved, loved, loved your presentation when we were in Paris. And I just loved having you here on the show today. This concept of transformation is so incredibly important. And I just love learning from you. So thank you for being a guest. Thank you so much, Catherine, for having me. It was a pleasure. And I also really love what you're doing. So thank you. Thank you. And thanks to all of you for listening to another episode of the Gut Punch podcast. We'll catch you next week. Bye-bye, everybody. That's it for today's episode of Gut Punch.

[00:42:31] I hope you found inspiration because no matter how hard life hits, there's always a way forward. Make sure to follow or subscribe to Gut Punch on your favorite podcast platform. If you know someone who could use a little inspiration, share this episode with them. Thanks for listening. And until next time, stay strong. See you in the next episode.