Addiction, Fire, and a Near Death Choice

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[00:00:44] Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the Gut Punch podcast. My name is Kathryn Lancioni, and I'm your host for today's episode. Today, I'm delighted and excited in all those wonderful words to welcome Adam Tanaka to the show. Adam is a new friend who I met through Andrea Paquette, who we had on in a previous recording, previous week. And Andrea's network is amazing, and that's how I met Adam. Adam is the founder of Cave House Supply, which is what I talk all about, and also a relentless optimist. And I just love that.

[00:01:14] I love that. So, Adam, welcome to the show. Thank you, Kathryn, so much for having me. I'm so stoked. My pleasure. No, no, no. And Adam is coming to us from beautiful Asheville, North Carolina, which I have not been to, but is on my list of places to go to. So I'm enjoying, as we're talking, anyone who's watching this on YouTube, you'll see this incredible backdrop, and that's actually not his green screen. That's actually where he is right now. That is my porch. Love it. Love it. So, Adam, let's just start with you. If you could share a little bit about your background with everybody, and we'll just go from there.

[00:01:44] Sure thing. Yeah. Yeah. I think this is probably going to be super relatable for a lot of people, but just growing up in a small town, growing up in a small town with no support, we grew up poor. We did not have a lot. Where did you grow up, by the way, let's just ask?

[00:02:03] It was a small town in West Tennessee called McKenzie. Yeah, super small town. And it was one of those places where there's just nothing to do. But as a little kid, your imagination would run crazy. And so you could figure it out.

[00:02:18] But for me, it was a little different because at a young age, my mom got addicted heavily to pharmaceuticals. I was super young, but I noticed the switch and I noticed the turn. And so mentioning being poor because my dad, he had to just work his butt off all the time. He was constantly working. And so when he got home, he was burned out from the day. And it needed to help that his job was right across the street. So he was just back and forth all the time.

[00:02:47] And so, yeah, it was one of those things where I, as a kid, going outside and playing was me going outside and basically escaping what was going on inside the house, the noise and everything to just use that imagination to pretend that I was in some far off made up land in space, flying a rocket ship or whatever.

[00:03:08] And that was that escape. That was almost like a survival mode. When kids are just, that's natural. Play is natural. It's supposed to just happen. Play is natural. Yeah. And I was going to say, as a parent of two adult children, 20 and 23, I remember mine were born before social media, right? So I remember vividly them being outside playing. And I feel like these days you say, okay, go outside and play. And they look at you. Well, what does that mean exactly?

[00:03:38] Exactly. And I'm sure we'll talk about that more later, but I just wanted to get that in. So keep going. A hundred percent. No, I think about that often. But back then, it truly was outside all the time. If you had a bicycle and you knew how to ride it, you would go. Oh my God. Hold on. On the bike thing. Hold on. So I was telling a friend of this the other day, my greatest childhood memory, and it's so vivid to me, was I grew up in suburban Philadelphia.

[00:04:02] And we lived in this development. And it was called, ironically enough, Green Acres. And it was all hilly, right? And I lived at the bottom of the hill and I had, I don't know, a bike, right? And I would every day, whether it was the weekend or after school or in the summertime, I would ride my bike around that development.

[00:04:18] And I would go up the same hill every day. And the joy, and it was, I think I remember it being a bigger hill than it actually was, but the joy of getting to the top of that hill and then circling around the development and coming down the big, like the other side of the hill was amazing. Yes.

[00:04:36] And just the energy that you just got from being on a bike and not being at home and just so fun and seeing nature and the birds and the clouds. And yeah, having a bike was, for me as a kid, so cool. It was cooler than a car. It was just so neat.

[00:04:51] Yes. Yes. Yeah. Everything you just said, I truly felt it to my core because it was one of those where even you're smiling so big as a kid on a bike that your mouth gets dried out. So your lips are sticking to your teeth because you're smiling so big and you're just like, what is happening? But no, that was it.

[00:05:08] And so then it got to the point now to where being in the house, sometimes my mom would, she would just disappear for days, weeks at a time, not having a clue where she was at, if she's okay. She would just vanish. And again, as a kid, did I do something? Did I do something to make her leave?

[00:05:27] So then it was all fix it mode when she would just appeared and pretended that everything was fine or just zoned out from drugs. And so you're trying to sit here and just fix, what did I do wrong? And then it got to the point to where she fell into these deep depression. She navigated depression on a daily basis. I would find her and curled up on the couch or the bed all the time crying or just zoned, checked out.

[00:05:55] And again, as a kid, it's like, I remember saying plainly, hey, mom, just stop being depressed. Just stop. Like it was that simple to me in my head. Yeah. How old were you at this point? At this point, I was probably eight, nine. And just what's so hard about that is heartbreaking in many ways is like, you're still young and this is your parent who's supposed to be the person that you look to for guidance and support.

[00:06:21] And here, complete role shift. You're the one who's actually parenting your mom. And at the age of eight, that's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And so I have a sister that's six years younger than me. So she was, when I was eight, she's two. And so then it got to a point a couple of years later where she is finding her, finding her locking herself in the bathroom, locking herself in the bedroom and not knowing what was going on.

[00:06:48] Or I clearly remember there was an instance where she had attempted suicide, which was a recurring, it sounds crazy, but it was like a recurring thing. And finding her mid attempt and not to get too graphic, but just finding her mid attempt and just screaming, what is going on? Multiple instances where we had to drag her to the hospital and constantly just wrist wrapped in all of the things.

[00:07:14] But as I got older, I started, I started, I started playing drums around age 11 drums as in beating on pots and pans. And then that morphed into this, this really horrible drum set that my dad found over at the college that he worked at. And so he brought it home and it was duct taped together, but I learned how to play. And that became my next phase of escape is, is, is really just burying myself in that, that, that noise.

[00:07:41] And so, but again, nothing else really changed on the outside, everywhere else, everything. My dad was still working his butt off. Mom was still. And, and so it was at one of those points where mom had already, she's, she probably did rehab multiple times. I can't, I lost count of how many times she went to rehab and, and coming home, literally arms wide open. Things are going to change every time. Things are going to change. Things are going to be different. And third or fourth time I knew it was like, it's not, it's not.

[00:08:10] And, and it never was, and it wasn't. And so throughout early teens and mid teens, I was playing music and I found friends to play music with and doing these things here and there. And, and so being able to really just, just shift my, just shift all of my, just thinking to this new hobby, this fun hobby and letting everything else just figure itself out. Mom at that time, she was just, she was very supportive when she wasn't on drugs and high out of her mind, but that was rare.

[00:08:38] And so there was, I remember being a teenager and my parents had split at that point and mom was living in a trailer, not far from where my childhood home was. And she calls me at, she calls the house at one o'clock in the morning. I pick it up and she's just talking out of her mind. And I caught, I love you, Adam in there. And so I, I knew that was like the, that was the, the, the trigger of, I got to get over there. And so I rushed over there, door was locked, busted it in.

[00:09:06] And she had, she had started an oil, a grease fire on the stove and the fire was already in the kitchen, engulfing the kitchen. She was sitting on the couch, extremely calm and drugged out, staring at the fire in the living room. And I ran in and she was just, that's how she was going to go. And so I, obviously I, she had already had crazy burns on her arms. So I grabbed her, drug her out into the front yard, fire department was called, all this stuff.

[00:09:34] But that's just a memory that no matter how much work you do on yourself, and I've done a lot, you're never going to forget that moment. And so I remember that being one of the last like traumatic moments while growing up in my hometown with my mom. That was when, and so I, I tried, I, after high school, I tried college. I actually went to college for three. I dropped out my last year of college to be in a band and go on tour.

[00:10:03] And again, that was to get out of that town. And, and so I, that's how I transitioned over into Nashville, Tennessee from, from a small town in West Tennessee. I made it to Nashville. And so I obviously kept in touch with, with my mom and my dad actually, and I started getting closer in my late teens, early twenties. And, and mom and I started drifting even further apart where she just was off the radar for a while. And then, so I decided to start my first business at 26 years old.

[00:10:31] This was in 2008 and fast forward to then. And I was building it, growing it as I was starting to get employees and getting busier with, with big name customers. I started noticing this, this, this, this, this childhood trauma and stuff starting to creep in without realizing it of like wanting to be a rescuer. As my therapist had called it, wanting to be this rescuer to my employees, but also really heavily starting to embrace this victim mindset of, and, and so year six into my, into that business.

[00:11:01] I was making the most money. I, at that time, making the most money. I couldn't have even dreamed of making it. And the business was growing big clients and signing NDAs with these big clients. And, but I was truly the most isolated and lonely I've ever been in that moment. And so I totally just went backwards and I just, I couldn't do it anymore. And the answer for me, the answer for me was, I am not meant for the world, this world.

[00:11:28] And I need to, I need to get myself set up so that I can, I can go and, and it just be okay. Okay. And, and I know that as we, as, as crazy as that sounds for me, there was no emotion tied to it at that point. It was just like, this is the next step. You were, you were so distraught that the emotion had gone away. Like, yeah. I understand. Yeah. There was. Yeah. I was not, it was weird because I was talking to somebody about this a while ago. I was not sad.

[00:11:57] I wasn't sad that, that I, it wasn't sadness. I was numb and I was navigating. I was navigating a lot of depression and high level anxiety and all the stuff, of course, up until that time. But finally it got to a point to where I, I'm truly not, not meant for this world. And so I, I automated a few emails to some top customers that I considered close friends. And I wrote two letters and I put them on the bed. And truly I, I'm this, it was literally seconds. I get a knock. I was seconds away from it. I get a knock on my back door.

[00:12:27] This was around eight o'clock at night. And I was like, what? And so I'm paused for a minute, another knock. And so I'm finally, okay, get up, go. And it's my best friend. And his name is Alex. He shows up in my house at eight o'clock at night. And I'm just like, and he goes, Hey man, I just thought I would stop by and see if you wanted to just grab a, grab a drink. And I was like, and then he goes, unless you're, you're busy wrapping up or whatever. I was like, no, I'm good. I'm good, man. Let's, let's grab a drink. The thing is, is though, is like his, his work where he worked is on the opposite side of town.

[00:12:55] And he lived on the other side of where he were. He had no reason. It was over an hour out of his way. Oh my God. From his house to about 45 minutes, I would say, out of his way. And he decided to show up. And at that time, and so I, we talked. He saved my life. He saved my life. But we talked that night. Nothing said, just normal friend talk and just catching up. And he left.

[00:13:21] I remember making a fire pit in my backyard and I burned the letters that I wrote. And then I unscheduled the three emails. And, and so, and then I reached back out to him a few months later and I said, Hey man, this is what happened that night. And, and so his wife, who is a very close friend of mine too, her name is Lizzie. She works at this place in Cumberland Furnace, Tennessee called Onsite Workshops. And so, and it's to, and it's there, they were built for these things.

[00:13:51] And I said, Hey man, I need, I think I need some help. And so Lizzie and I connected and she was like, we have the Living Centered program coming up in January. So this was, this was October, 2014 when all of that went down. So this was in, and so they have a Living Centered program coming up in January of 2015. She said, this is, this would be great for you. I said, I think at this point I'm willing to try whatever. So I get there and in my phone, it's one of those where you turn in your phone. I rolled my eyes. It's like, this is going to be so stupid.

[00:14:21] Why am I even here? I thought about leaving, turning right around. I was like, I can leave. I'm not, but I stuck it out day one. I was like, whatever, this is lame. Day two, I'm like, okay, this was just giving me some structure. By day three, I found myself on the floor with other adults around me in this roll of white paper. And we were all coloring. We were all had crayons in our hands and we were coloring and drawing.

[00:14:45] And it was that moment where I was like, oh my God, I have completely just buried Kid Adam and complete that inner child, that kid self just totally just pretended that they didn't exist ever to really try to bury the past. And it was the complete opposite of what I needed to do. And so that day and forward, I remember learning and working and doing a lot of work around your inner child.

[00:15:11] And from that, the Kid Company was born and becoming more and more clear. The work that I do to this day is really helping adults rediscover play through a keynote. And it's all this stuff and it all centers around Kid Adam and inner child stuff. And it's extremely personal for me. And so, yeah, we could be here all day, all night talking about my childhood and hearing your child.

[00:15:37] And the fascinating part about it, that's why I'm so obsessed with environment and how out of everything, environment is what shapes us no matter what. And I truly believe that it's one of those things where I always tell people, I think in order for me to thrive as an adult right now is that I have to go back to who I was as a kid. And that truly means the true sense of freedom of wonder, imagination, creativity, and connection, though, is the piece.

[00:16:06] And I was so disconnected for so long. That's where it took me to my ultimate rock bottom moment, truly. And so, yeah, and so that is why I dedicated my work from now until I'm not breathing anymore to helping adults rediscover play and helping kids and families and educators make sure they have the tools needed to help kids grow, grow confident and stay creative and emotionally grounded. Yeah, that it's amazing.

[00:16:33] And I appreciate you sharing that story with us. And I'm like, I don't know, I'm at a loss for words. But truly, because it's amazing. Take me back, if you're okay with this, to when your friend left that night, right? The universe works in weird ways. And here you are literally about to take your own life and your buddy shows up at your door. After he left that night, how did you feel? Well, this is actually the perfect podcast for this because it's your title. It's the name of your podcast.

[00:17:03] Like it was the gut punch. It was the movies when, this is so hard to explain and I apologize if I'm going to butcher, I see it. But in movies when you get lost in these memories and then it brings you back to reality and it hits you like a ton of bricks. That is exactly what happened. When he left, it was like that. And it was like, what just happened the last six years of my life? And so when he left, it wasn't me breaking down in tears.

[00:17:31] It wasn't me being so happy that I didn't follow through. It wasn't any of that. It was truly like reality fully in the moment. This is really happening. And it's like you have a decision to make. That's it. It was you have a decision to make. And I chose the way that I felt. It's like, okay, it's just not that time. Let's do this thing. But let's really fucking do this thing. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:18:01] You chose to live. I chose to live. I chose to live. But I chose to live. And it's like, what can it look like? And being curious of like, I choose to live. But what does that look like to live fully? What does that mean? What does that even mean? And so it was a lot of learning curves and unlearning from that point, from that day forward. And it's still happening today. A lot of the unlearning and detaching yourself from just past stuff that no longer serves you.

[00:18:26] But now it's now understanding so many of the things that matter. Community, deep connection, really embracing that joy and that energy that brings us together as humans and just the, I don't know, the psychology of building as not just a founder, but your life as a human being. And that is my obsession. And I don't care how weird or how dumb or ridiculous I look when I'm talking about it or doing it in the moment. It's truly like, that's the piece.

[00:18:56] That's part of the growth, I think, for me, is just drowning the noise and just stay focused and forward. Because going back is not an option for me anymore. And yeah, there's too many people that I've connected with in my life, too, that I care so much about. And I want to walk alongside them as long as possible to just build together whatever that means. And you're one of those people now. It's just wild. It's wild. I know. I know.

[00:19:27] I know. And again, thanks to Andrea and her story and she shared. And so my journey, as I shared briefly with you before, I didn't try to take my own life, but my life was almost taken from me, right? Right. And my moment of my bottom was when I woke up from medically induced coma and didn't know where I was, what had happened. And I just felt like this was not supposed to be my reality. This was not supposed to happen to me, but it did and it was. And I'm laying there in this hospital bed. I see my hands all bandaged.

[00:19:57] As people know, I lost the top of my right thumb due to gangrene from the bacterial infection and I'm right-handed. So it's a bit of a challenge. Chopsticks are still a little tough. But you learn, right? That you learn to appreciate the fact that you're living and that you get the opportunity to wake up every day and go outside and see the sun and listen to the birds and breathe. And, but it took me a while to get there. And I had dark moments when I was in the hospital and very much went into the why me, right?

[00:20:22] But at some point when I was laying there watching way too much of the Today Show, because there's four hours every day, every day, I realized that I mattered. I mattered as a, as a wife. I mattered as a mom. I mattered as a college professor. I mattered as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend. And I think it was that realization that helped me decide to move forward. Because one of the things I realized in that hospital is we all have a choice.

[00:20:52] You either elect to move forward or you don't. And the way that I always view it is there's that Robert Frost poem about the two roads diverged in Hawaii and I took the one less traveled by, right? And that has made all the difference. Thanks to Mr. Smith, my seventh grade English teacher who made me write that poem. But I unintentionally wound up on the road that was less traveled. And I intentionally decided to move forward because I could have self, it's terrible for me to say this, but I could have easily self-smothered in the hospital and all you have to do is turn

[00:21:21] over and I easily could still be in the hospital getting all this food given to me and ringing a bell and having people come. But I elected to move forward. And that was because I realized that I mattered. And that was because I realized that I could, as hard it was going to be, get through what I knew I had to go through. And it's very similar to what you went through in that you and everyone says you get stuck and you do, you get stuck. And you're the one that has to decide, am I going to let myself forward or am I going to stay stuck?

[00:21:51] And your friend unintentionally saved your life. Your friend gave you that wake up call, Adam, what are you doing? And I, again, like I had those moments. I was like, why am I being like, I'm alive? And I think that that just giving myself the freedom and the patience to recognize that and giving myself the grace of saying, okay, this sucks, but you can get back to being you eventually. Then it took a while, a year and a half, but you get there.

[00:22:20] And I think for me, what I had to remind myself, and I'm sure you've been there too, is that I matter and I make an impact in me. I don't overtly necessarily appreciate, but I know from just my vibe with people or the work that I do, that it makes a difference in people's lives and that the world would be a different place if I weren't in it. Right. So, yes. So, yes, my friend, we both have been there. And as I say, I think I wouldn't, and I don't know if you feel this way, but here's how I feel.

[00:22:48] I wouldn't treat, I wouldn't wish what I went through in my worst enemy. I don't care how horrible they are. I wouldn't wish on anybody because what I went through was horrible and incredibly tough. But I am eternally grateful for the lessons that I learned about myself and about humanity because if I had not been where I was, I wouldn't have had the thoughts and the insights and the awareness that I gained. And that's invaluable as I go forward. And for me, life 2.0, and it really has been that for you as well. A hundred percent. And I feel the same though. I feel the same.

[00:23:18] I wouldn't wish any of this on anyone, but what I learned about myself through all of that, I don't, I would have just kept going down. I clearly would have kept going down and down that dark, deep road a hundred percent if that gut punch didn't happen. But yeah. So talk about the work that you're doing now. I find what you're doing fascinating. I really do. Yeah. So the kids, the kids company cave house supply, that is something that it took a while to get

[00:23:47] to figure out because again, this came from wanting to start something to help kids and families. And I was not, I don't have kids. I'm not a teacher. I'm not a mental health professional, but I always go back to, I was a kid once and we were all kids. And so I think it was one of those where it got to a point to where it was like, what did I need back then? And then aside from that listening, taking, taking a while to listen to the community,

[00:24:15] listen to the parents, the teachers, the educators, the clinicians, even seeing the things that I was experimenting with and going into elementary schools and libraries and these workshops and, and, and hosting these events for kids and, and, and hearing these adults saying, whatever you're doing, we need more. And it's like, okay, okay, cool. And for we, for me, the way my brain works is I hear that. And now I'm just like a million ideas all of a sudden hit.

[00:24:41] So I knew from having my other business in the path, I needed to scale back to the things, the core things that would really bring value to these, to who I'm trying to serve. And, and so, so what that looks like today is we are in the middle of beta for a kid powered storytelling app called story space. And it is for kids who are neurodivergent. We call them who, who, who see and feel the world differently. Like I did as a kid and, and, and for their families,

[00:25:10] they write their stories to, it's a way to process emotions, build confidence in a space that truly meets them where they are. And there, this is not gamified. So it's not pulling for their attention. They truly own the space. There's no AI writing for them. They, they own everything. And then parents get a, an insight that's dashboard to get insights in on what their kids are writing about. And that is on purpose to build that deeper connection. Because again, this app is

[00:25:37] specifically for kids who are neurodivergent. So this is to pretty much the busiest people in the world, parents of kids who are neurodivergent. And then another thing is given that that story space is our core focus right now, but I'm working on creating a kid's magazine, a physical magazine to, to, to ship out quarterly. That's going to be attached to experiences and events as well called the Optimist Adventure Club. And that is going to be for ages five to 10 year olds. And, and so like we were saying before, this is like the highlight, remember highlights.

[00:26:06] I remember highlight, like it was such, it was such a thing. And I, I don't know where I was. I was some media that in New York, and I was talking to a woman who used to be involved with that magazine and like their, their circulation was crazy. I didn't go to every household in America, but it went to a lot of them. And I remember getting it, it was big and you would open it. And it was like, it was so exciting to see. And I smiling when you were talking about it, because

[00:26:32] I think that with all this focus on social media and everything online and gamification, all that, that there's something so cool about getting a magazine, a real magazine as a kid and able to open it and look at it and see the pictures and read, not something on a screen, but something that's on a piece of paper. So I love, I love that. Yes. No. And again, that goes back to me being still stuck in the nineties. I know I remember

[00:26:56] buying CDs, pulling out the booklet cassettes and CDs and smelling the CD case. It's just reading a book, go to a, go to a bookstore or a library and pick a book. And I don't know, there's just something magical to that. So we're trying to bring that experience back. I'm thinking about toys in a cereal box. Where'd that go? Let's bring it back. McDonald's happy. The food isn't healthy, but the little toy is fun. The little toy is worth it. And then, and then I also, I launched this last year,

[00:27:22] but with everything going on, this it's taken a, it's been shelved for now, but it's just a, it's a video series of conversations that I have with experts, educators, parents, and even kids, just about practical strategies that parents and families can implement in the home. And that's called at the table. And, and so those working together along with in-person events and experiences, we launched our first fall festival last year in Nashville, Tennessee. And it went

[00:27:48] over, it was a huge hit to where I'm getting messages saying, when is this happening this year? And it's like, I didn't even know we were going to do this again. This is awesome. Yeah. So maybe that's going to happen again this year. I guess I need to figure that out sooner than later, but, but truly. So everything that we're, we're doing there in Cave House is directly geared towards kiddos, elementary age kiddos and their families. And then I, and then on the other side of it,

[00:28:12] I go around and speak to audiences, to adult audiences. And the topic is permission to play. It's helping adults rediscover play in their life, regardless of what attached, what title is attached to their name. It could be educator. It could be accountant. It could be CEO, whatever. It does not matter. And this is again, the very personal thing because that, that, that, that time, that day three on my knees coloring with other adults and realizing, oh my gosh,

[00:28:40] this is what was missing. Being able to take that to a room and just start a conversation. That is everything to me. And then also to hear these adults come to me afterwards and be like, while you were talking, I just made my schedule for the next two months of how I'm going to disconnect every single day for five minutes and learn and relearn and rediscover this play that you're talking about. That when I can retire, that is everything. So that, that is, that is the core of

[00:29:06] what I do these days. I love that. And I want to go back to the whole play thing. So truth be told, in addition to riding my bike when I was a kid, I also loved making snow angels, right? And I will fully disclose to all of you listening to the show that I actually still do it. So, and my, my, my kids, my 20 and 23, I think I'm absolutely nuts, right? But I need a really good snowstorm and I go in my backyard and I collapse. I make my snow angel. And so I had the experience this year where we had a

[00:29:32] really, really big snowstorm over the winter in New York. And I was, I fell back and I realized the snow was so deep that not only was it hard for me to make my snow angel, but getting up was problematic. It was so fun. And I was the only person of my nuclear family of four that was willing to do this. And I think I, my kids are like standing in my family room laughing at me,

[00:29:57] but I got to tell you, I had so much fun and I just feel like we all take ourselves way too seriously these days. There, there is, I forget her name, Dionne Reeve. She's a jazz singer. And I went Valentine's day, she did a concert at Lincoln center. And I went and she talked about, she just turned 70 and she talked about the importance of still being young and the importance of still being a child at heart and her age that she picked is nine, right? And I was all curious about this.

[00:30:25] And the reason she picks nine, and I never thought about this way, but nine is the leaping off here into the next decades. You go from nine to 10, 19 to 20, 29 to 30. And I just love that. And I, I feel that if we all could just get re-engaged with our inner child, those fears, those joys, those excitements, that intrepidation that we had when we were little, it would make life so much

[00:30:48] easier. And, and I just, so for me, it's, it's the snow angels. It's jumping off a diving board at a pool with a little group of little kids standing below me. It's like going to Carvel for soft serve and getting the chocolate sprinkles on it. Those are things that I vividly remember from my childhood and vividly associate the most positive memories from. And I, I just feel that that is just so

[00:31:16] incredibly important as we get older. And I think it's also, I remember when my kids were little, we would take them sledding or you would have the leaves of the fall and you would get them up. And I was always the parent that was making this, going down the sled, making my snow angel and building the snowman. And I was also the parent that was like in the leaf pile with my kids. Okay. I was hoping you would say. Yeah, no. And I think my girlfriend said I was insane because why is she, I'm like, I do not care.

[00:31:42] I want to be in that pile of leaves with my kids. And actually now that they're older, they won't go in the leaf pile with me. And I miss having that kind of reason. So I think this fall, I'm just going to jump into my leaf pile because it gives me such joy. You can see as I'm talking about it, such joy to be able to do that. Um, I don't, I don't care. Like what? So what? So what if someone sees me making a snow angel? Because the amount of joy that I derive from that is so

[00:32:10] incredibly important for me. Gosh, oh my God. I love that so much. Yes. I, I remember making leaf piles and how much joy that brought. It was, it was also two puddles, but. Oh, jumping in a puddle after it rains? Jumping in a puddle. Yeah. Just water all, you know, everywhere that, that just the best thing in the world, but that, that truly is it. And I've had, I've had people coming to me after, after a talk and just say like talking about their disconnection there, the way that they are able to

[00:32:37] disconnect from the busyness is, is improv is, is going to an art museum and just really taking in the, the, the paintings or the art that that's there. It's like just all over the board. And then that's the thing is like play doesn't have to mean a game, a sport. It doesn't have to mean that it just truly is that, that, that disconnection from the craziness that we all are trying to feel more and more productive every single day. And so just pausing for a minute. I think so. And there's,

[00:33:05] if you give yourself the opportunity to do that, I think there's just so much and it's, it's different for everybody, but I think there's so much that you discover about yourself. Right. And, and it brings you back to those moments that you were a kid. Yes. And I think that's so important. That's it. So important. So everyone has to just go with it and try to figure out, I think, so I, you know, I've thought about what age would I be? I don't know if I would pick nine. I liked 10 because in 10,

[00:33:31] I was in fifth grade and I don't know. I thought I was cool in fifth grade, even though I'm now in retro, so I probably was not, but I was a safety and I got to stand there with my orange thing in the hallway and no direct people. That was cool. I like that. I like that. I would probably, I would probably pick 10. What age would you pick if you could go back? I, I would probably pick, I would probably pick eight. Okay. Cause I think it was in third grade. Yeah. Like third grade. And that's where third grade,

[00:33:57] I remember for me was the big pivotal moment of stuff where the awareness was like starting to really take hold, being aware and learning. Oh, I am left-handed or, Oh, I'm not, I don't learn the way these other kids learn. I have to write stories for in math class or stuff like that. And so I think I would go back to eight and just fully embrace. And like you said, when you jump into the leaf pile, just who cares? And it's like, I think eight, I think eight is it. I think eight would be a close second to my 10. Cause eight, I was in third grade and I had a

[00:34:26] teacher. Her name was Ms. Siegel. And I really, I really, I remember, I vividly remember third grade. I didn't enjoy fourth grade, but I liked third and I loved fifth. So yeah, maybe eight. I don't know. Adam, this has been so fun. Oh my God. So fun. So great. Uh, and we've got to do this again. Oh my God. Are you kidding me? My pleasure. Um, once, once the app is out, I would love to have you back on so we could talk about that. And if you're going to do the festival, I would love to

[00:34:53] have you talk about that. So this is the series of many conversations with Adam. Cause I just, Oh my gosh. You're going, I love, thank you. I, that is, that is too much. Thank you. I'm, I'd be honored to, to come back and have a conversation. A hundred percent. That's such good stuff. Okay. So most importantly, if people want to learn more about all this incredible stuff that you're doing, what's a great way to get ahold of you? Man, I think the best way that lays it, lays it all out is adamtanaka.com. It's got, I think every, most of everything is there. And then

[00:35:21] cavehousesupply.com C-A-V-E-H-O-U-S-E supply.com. Yeah. And then Tanaka is T-A-N-A-K-A. Right. Exactly. Yeah. I was trying to spell it out. Thank you for being here. Thank you for all the incredible work that you're doing. And I'm so glad that your friend came and knocked on your door all those years ago. Cause I think the gifts that you're giving the world are just absolutely incredible. I love it. Thank you. This is such a pleasure to, to, to talk and have a great conversation. Thank you so much. My absolute pleasure. It was so fun. And I

[00:35:50] look forward to more and thanks to all of you for tuning in for another episode of the Gut Punch podcast. We'll catch you here next week, everybody. Bye-bye. That's it for today's episode of Gut Punch. I hope you found inspiration because no matter how hard life hits, there's always a way forward. Make sure to follow or subscribe to Gut Punch on your favorite podcast platform. If you know someone who could use a little inspiration, share this episode

[00:36:17] with them. Thanks for listening. And until next time, stay strong. See you in the next episode.